Yowsers! Busy days settling (?) Grace for the winter. She has more systems and is larger than Compass Rose.

A friend suggested we could truck Grace south and join the boat after Christmas in say, Georgia, thus skipping the lousy weather and fear about boating so late in the season. Intriguing....for only a few minutes from my perspective. Friend? David and I made a "let's sleep on it" agreement. Next morning over coffee we decided to bring the boat home and conclude our ICW ambitions for this season. We're both pretty exhausted by this entire effort which has held our attention and most of our time and money since April. Let's see, that's 7 months (!) with David doing most of the physical and mental work and me providing support (financial and emotional with a bit of physical boat work). The idea of opening another chapter of ICW/Grace this year...? No. I couldn't do it. So, she's home in our driveway.

Expanded driveway, Grace field:

In Slings again at Brewer's Freeport Marina

Our own personal living room sail loft:

With kitty helping:

A Snug fit. Almost lost the grill on this move. About a 12" clearance!!! And nearly as stressful as the nor'easter in Scituate.

View from David's office window.

It snowed here already! Below is one of sails, post-washing and trying to dry. It feels cold and damp even though the temperature isn't THAT low at 39 degrees in the middle of the day today. Chill definitely in the air. But Amelia and I are sitting in front of glowing embers in the wood stove.

Sail "drying" in the snow

Last 2014 motor down river

We're decommissioning Grace. It's a sad thing to be doing given our ambitions for this winter of living on her in a sunny, warm, Southern clime...but must be done.

Awaiting taking the masts down

Taking the masts down is something like neutering one's favorite pet. At least it is a reversible process. And she still has lovely lines and looks sturdy which she is.

Neutered Grace. She'll travel over land better this way.

Thinking of expanding our lower driveway to more easily accommodate her living here beside us this winter.

Also toying with the idea of having her shipped/trailered (by a professional, not us) to SC or GA next month and we'd fly or drive down and continue south, as planned. Or bag the sailing idea for this year and go to Spain for a couple of weeks to visit friends, Dick and Nora.

We are both blessed...and cursed...with possibilities and options.

At the beginning of our trip I tried to get a photo of Two Lights. I managed on the return though it is NOT postcard material.

Warm, foggy day. Lovely, really lovely, in a blurry sort of way. Lots of boats coming out of the water at Brewer's Freeport Marina where Grace is docked temporarily. I made a trip to take all the food off the boat, so we'd have food at home. Later in the afternoon David and I stripped the sails, packed some clothes and moved our books off...stripped the aft cabin berth... We'd provisioned Grace well for an extended journey.

I'm settling back onto land with less despondency. I realize, though, that I'd high hopes of using this water journey as a place/time to ponder how I might want to use my time and energy (talents?) during the coming 10 years. I'm privileged with good health and a modicum of wealth that allows me to not strive regularly for food, shelter, warmth. So, how to use my available time/energy purposefully? It is harder to ponder these/this question(s) in my "home" environment when there are so many pulls at my attention...hard to keep eye on the prize...or to know what the prize is. Sigh. Turns out self-discipline is not my strong suit...and waiting, quietly...meditative state isn't either. Still...

Sorry I didn't get a photo of Grace in the pink light of fog. She knows how to sit...waiting, quietly...mediative state...waiting...patiently...

Less bummed out today. Holding all these disparate emotions - disappointed, relieved, confused, grateful...We humans. Flexible. I realized that I'd placed a lot of hopes/expectations on this journey - hoping to challenge some familiar habits, get out of regular environment to take a look at other possibilities, other options about how to use my time and energy. Maybe w/no pressing commitments beyond boat safety and food, there would be clarity and decision. Walking back into our wonderful home I was faced with familiar habits, regular environment and lack of clarity. Gotta get that by another avenue, I guess.

On the plus side of the "journey" balance sheet - I'm much more comfortable estimating distances on the charts, even finding where I am on the chart. I know how to use the Elderige tide book. I know more about effect of wind on waves and how to manage effect on steering a course. I know the sequence for starting and stopping the engine. And, I have a new app on my smart phone that predicts the wind speed and direction. Not rocket science but good to be somewhat conversant. I can turn on the heat and cook on the propane stove

We put some good systems in place during our 2+weeks on board.

And today, we got to SAIL for the first time since leaving, only my 3rd sail. Maggie joined us. We got 4 sails shaken out and working, 10 degrees of tilt, 6 knots. Beautiful sun. Not too cold. Just between Bustin and Little Bustin, then round little Bustin and sail to our red nun, then motor back to the dock. Totally delicious.  Maybe the photos Maggie made will be available tomorrow.

Yesterday morning in Kittery the decks were icy, a clear indication that it is time to be home. Beautiful morning. Foggy windows made navigating out the river a bit dicey but a combination of "wipe the windows" and "stick my head out the door" made it possible to avoid lobster pots, lobster boats, and see the navigational buoys.

Glassy ocean for the first couple of hours of the trip, light wind at our backs as we headed along rather familiar coast of southern Maine. The wind and waves picked up a bit but never too rough, maybe 2' waves plus the ocean swell...it was swell! It was warm enough that both David and I spelled each other from the helm and took breaks on the aft deck (until I suggested that was too much trouble to look back to make sure he'd not fallen overboard) and the foredeck. Lovely watching the waves as Grace easily plowed through them. The vibration of that powerful engine and the sound of the splash of the waves stimulated....my bladder. And there was the long view making way for expansive, questioning thinking and just plain joy and gratitude.

Long View

We decided to continue to Freeport even though it meant a 9+ hour sailing/motoring day. Lots of standing at the helm as the seas were rough enough to require constant attention and handling of the boat - not "heavy" helm exactly but erratic helm...sort of like driving a car on bumpy, twisty and unfamiliar roads...in the dark. Constantly alert trying to anticipate where the next wave will head you (generally off course) and mitigating that effect as much as possible. Pretty physically and mentally active.

Dick and Nora called us as we passed the beach they walk at K'bunkport. "We see you!" I waved in their direction but couldn't really see them.

As we passed Cousins Island I l slowed the rpms, slowing our progress home. Didn't want to get there too fast. Disappointment settled into my spirit, though David was more sanguine. Familiarity was wonderful...and I'm totally appreciative and know this was the correct, prudent decision but...disappointment.

Shannon gathered us. I brought Amelia home and she immediately took to the stairs...away from all things "travel".  I remained totally blessed.

Pepperrelle Cove just off Kittery point, ME.  This morning I was adrift, so to speak, wondering what I was returning to in Maine. Here I was, expecting to get out of my familiar habits, new frontiers, etc. and now I'm returning. Grateful to have home and friends to return to but/and.... now what? Hoping to keep some of the space, psychic space, I've enjoyed without pressure of "work" and jobs (volunteer or otherwise). Hoping to keep mornings sacred to meditate and be spacious...open space for important messages or.....intuitions.....or whatever. But the discipline to stay vacant!!! Odd as that sounds.

Classic sunset in Maine - Pepperrelle Cove near Kittery

 We had a great day of motoring with the wind on our nose. Easy, though, with mild seas. Careful decision making about York Harbor or Portsmouth  Harbor. It tickles me that I know some of the things to consider - tide, wind, time of day, etc. Reading some, comfortably while David steered. Being helms person some. Not able to get into internet to do homework. Picked up our friend, Ben Fowler, who brought Mexican take-out, and dined on a mooring with him. Great laughter. great remembering how we'd supported our parents as they passed. Wonderful sharing of difficult times and some of our regrets, knowing we all did the best we could. Getting colder. Ready to get back to Freeport and see what comes next. Sweet "sail" today. Reading interesting book The education of Oversoul Seven by the woman who wrote the seth books.

David & Nancy excited to leave Gloucester after 4 days waiting for weather to change

Annisquam Villege where Don Tison used to live

Lighthouse at entrance to Annisquam River

Just home from dinner with our friends Diane and Don who have packed up their Gloucester house and have moved to Long Island. Chinese take-out, champagne in plastic cups (celebrating the sell of above house) and a SHOWER for David and me. Wow! What good friends.

Used Toni's gift of the change purse full of quarters, plus some of my own, in the laundry mat today. Now we have clean towels and undies and jeans! Laundry mat was just up the road and a nice one, too. David tackled some wiring, successfully. Now we each have a cigarette-type plug at our seat in the salon so we can recharge our various tech instruments without creating so many tripping hazards. What a guy! Other "home" improvements - I finished the hand work on another cushion today and scraped some more varnish off railings.

It was great to have bright sun this morning, after a night of wind and rocking and rolling. And, the just past full moon on our walk back from Diane and Don's was wonderful. Mild, welcome day/night.

Thinking we may leave this port tomorrow late morning. We've been befriended by Val who works here. She gave David her card and said, "Now you call me when you get home. I worry." We'll check the wind/wave action before heading out tomorrow. I have that app (Windfinder) on my phone now, too.

Naming Grace. Sailing with Grace. This seems an appropriate topic following the, for me, very disappointing election results. 

When we purchased the boat she was named Dreamer, a name that did not resonate with us. Sounded a bit adolescent, an age neither of us misses nor would choose to return to. What sort of name would be more appropriate to our stage in life, our ambitions for journeying with the boat, and something about personal values, philosophy, spiritual beliefs.

We each made lists of names and compared notes and brainstormed off of each other’s ideas.  Pearl, Blue Pearl, Compass Rose 2, Rescue, Sanctuary, Home, Maggie, Audette, Jewel….there were many more now gone from memory and we can’t find the various lists. David came upon grace, Amazing Grace, gracious, graceful.

Grace – elegance, beauty, poise, blessing, kindness; grace of God, living in grace; referencing dance, how we’ve managed to compose our lives over many years without specific, conscious plan and goal, ….  The boat IS elegant with lovely, sweeping lines. She is sturdy and strong. We are her keepers, her stewards, as she is ours, keeping us safe in the water.

David and I are well aware of our long and hard work (David with his numerous skills and me with mine) and the contributions of our ancestors that make our position of relative wealth, good health, and privilege possible. We are grateful. We know so many people who have worked equally hard (or harder)  who are not as blessed with good fortune and good health and privilege.  

Grace seems to fit where we are now and where we hope to remain...”in a state of...in the presence of... living through/with/in...grace” 

So, we named the boat and honor the grace with which we are blessed.

Totally weird "title" to last post. And it happened again. Maybe because I'm composing in Word and Copying and Pasting??? Anybody have insights?

Nearly full moon, muffled by clouds a little, off our aft deck. We’re comfortably situated in a slip in Gloucester, MA, plugged into “shore power” so we’re not draining our batteries or propane supply for light and heat. Ah, the good life. But what day is it? Is this lost-the-day syndrome due to “Ah, retirement,”  “Ah, cruising,” or "Ah, age."???

 

(left: Scituate Light)

We finally left Scituate yesterday around 1 PM after testing, adjusting, purging, testing again the fuel filter system…getting the air out. We continued to check the filters throughout our 4 hr passage back to Gloucester. The passage was easy enough but we had to open the engine compartment to check the filters. Big, powerful engine is extremely noisy when the compartment is open. Amelia took up drinking!

We arrived in the  Gloucester harbor after dark. Oh boy, another stress for this helmsperson since I don’t see well at night. The reflections on the water add to my vision challenge. David provided sight and navigation. I followed the arrow on the electronic chart (GPS). I was reminded of flying by instruments as a kid and my Dad’s admonition to “trust your instruments” regardless of your instincts. Worked for us many times in my childhood and for David and self yesterday. We picked up a mooring in this somewhat familiar harbor and slept comfortably.

Today…fuel, head pump out (some lovely young dock hands in Cape Ann Marina in the Blynman Canal end of the Annisquam River), negotiated a slip that feels snug for the coming rain and wind, a loooong walk to the other side of the harbor to visit the Maritime Heritage Center and finally a ride on the public bus to the food store and back with a friendly bus driver...dinner onboard.

 

Rain predicted tomorrow and winds way too high for us to consider leaving port. Another opportunity to plan a different “escape” to a warmer climate this winter.

In spite of election results which I believe were based on people’s fear… I’m

feeling blessed. Hope others are, too.

David makes contact. Harbor lights in background.

Oh woe and bother. Much conversation, soul searching, weighing options and timetables - great disappointment and a bit of relief, we're postponing our ICW dream until next year. Starting back to Freeport tomorrow which will probably take a week or 10 days given the weather. Thanks to all who've lent support of so many kinds to our ambitious journey. We plan to pick up the dream earlier next fall after making even more improvements to our water home and transportation. We've already started the winter work list for Grace.

At the moment a beautiful day in Scituate. We're getting a bit of air out of our fuel system. 

 Our powerful Ford Gustavson engine plus a different view of Capt. David, the mechanic.

Way easier to do this sitting in a slip than on a mooring. We've purged those nasty mud-dobber wasp nests from the air vents which will, no doubt, help but are now checking all the hoses for any kind of leak or obstruction.

How Amelia deals with any stress she may have.

Awoke to SUN this morning and it took a while to realize that the wind was still blowing a gale, but from a different direction so we weren't getting whiplash as has been the case for the past two days. And, really, sun does make a difference in attitude. Late breakfast of French toast since we still weren't going far...only across the harbor at low tide. We (David!) negotiated a slip complete with electricity (i.e. electric heat and lights) and SHOWERS. We unshackled Grace from her mooring and motored over. Landed with help from our friend, Gary Powell, who joined us onboard for lunch and some journey planning. Gary is familiar with the CT coast and Long Island Sound and beyond. Some good advice and encouragement.

A walk to the hardware store for door insulation, rather than the chaffing rags we've been using, and a short walking tour of Scituate. Then Louise and Paul joined us for wine and snacks before dinner. Toasty in the Pilot House with Amelia snoozing between us. I wonder if the red navigation light causes by passers to think they are in the red light district.

A full day of riding out the wind, mostly in bed, kitty in the cave made by our bodies. Daylight savings time did not save us from the constant howling wind. I'm feeling safe but not comfortable. Definitely weary of too many unpleasant days of high winds and sitting, well bouncing around, in port.

Some philosophy about fear - after I've discharged the tightness / frozeness of the emotion (crying and shivering) and done all I can to make the situation as safe as possible (run the boat to help David get the extra mooring pennant on), what's the point of fear? None that I can see. So, give outcome up to Divine Spirit, I guess. I admit that I did some imaginary Reiki on the boat (keep your integrity, Grace) and had a chat with my ancestors and angels about keeping us safe. Others might call this praying. But fear. Why bother? I've done what I can do. I wonder if people in a war zone reach this point? Strong gusts from the northwest do not equal a war zone by any stretch of my imagination. But what about fear and its usefulness? And when to (maybe how to) give it up?

So, we're considering our options about how/if to continue this journey. I'm reluctant, thinking That adhering to our timeline, necessitated by previous Freeport commitments, takes the pleasure out of the journey and makes it "work" for me. What about next year with an earlier start? David wants to press on and wants to honor our partnership in this journey, and I want to support David. And the wind howls! Damn. We may think more clearly when the wind dies down tomorrow and we may have a shower at the marina.

Meanwhile, hamburgers for dinner. Such a cook, I am. And, kitty snores on my lap in the salon. I am blessed to have options to consider. Many who work just as hard as we have fewer or no options.

Trick or Treat? The photo I didn't get yesterday. Another opportunity today as Capt. David went out IN THE SNOW!!! to check the mooring gear.

I'm sorry I didn't get a photo of Capt. David in his red and yellow foul weather gear. Soaked. Wearing his life jacket and the life line dangling. He'd been out adding a extra mooring pennant to the one from the marina. A safety precaution. He was wet!

So what to do on a stormy day on the boat. Worry? Keep watch? Eat soup? Eat left over Halloween candy? Work Sudodu? Yes, all. I'm less scared now that I've had a good, discharge "I'm scared" cry. However, I'm pretty sure that this kind of scared is not good for me! I know that trying experiences are, frequently, good learning experiences. But..., I don't think this is good for me. See me shake my head "no, not good." I've known for sometime that I am truly a fair weather sailor and this is NOT fair weather.

Fear aside, I'm so grateful for David's skill and experience and for his attention to detail and safety. Really, Nanc, this is a regular ol' nor'easter. You just happen to be in a "new" boat in an unknown place rather than in front of the wood stove in your land-bound home! I was in charge of motoring Grace forward (! in 36 mph winds??) so David could get a grip on the original pennant to add ours to it for safety. Frustrating, (did I mention the high winds???) but we succeeded. We need to practice our hand signals.

Philosophically speaking, there is something for me to learn about having no, or limited, control and recognizing that reality. Holy storm, another *@#* learning experience. I am truly outside my comfortable habits! I don't like it very much.

Meanwhile, we're dry. we're warm, and as safe as anyone else, really. And, it is the JOKE show on Prairie Home Companion. And I love my husband in spite of the fact that he can't calm the storm. We've had some confidence-building conversations with local and distant sailing friends.

And, two of the dancers I asked to join me for the Freeport Players Telethon Cleaning Ladies Dance have accepted.  Staying warm and dry!

OKAY. Our first living onboard nor'easter experience. I'm breaking out some of the bon voyage gifts - Mary's Lapsang Souchong tea, Toni's cut the fingers out gloves. Last night we enjoyed Dick's Scotch. We slept in this morning, following our animal instincts to lay low during storms. Now breakfast is past, phone calls being made...what to do on a chilly, stormy day on a mooring? Who knows. A concern: I'm not sure how much candy corn is left from Halloween and if we're here for 3 days that could become a problem

I'm feeling more comfortable now but last night "sleeping" was a bit of a fearful experience. Swinging and rocking. The boats tilt indicator showing maybe 1 degree of tilt does not adequately measure the effect my internal organs feel when prone and tilting back and forth. And the water gurgling and slapping around the boat - not particularly comforting. Would those be boat burps or boat farts?

We had a little dance party in the Pilot House last evening complete w R&R music and red lights. Wearing our head lamps gave us the option of strob lights but that was a bit disorienting with the swing/roll of the boat. No trick or treaters arrived though.

 Amelia has become "relaxed" enough to exhibit curiosity...or longing for land(?)

View from the Bridge this morning Note the rain, the deflated bag of candy corn on the starboard side, pontoons from the inflatable dingy on foredeck.

While not totally comfortable I feel safe, enough to go brush my teeth.